Submission - Ephesians 5:22-33

The word of God is always very practical. We've been examining in recent weeks the letter of Paul to the Ephesians, and our study has taken us to Ephesians 5 where Paul is saying in verses 18 through 6:9, walk in harmony. The Christian walk is to be a walk in harmony.

Now, in Ephesians 5:18, he says, if you're going to have harmony, you're not going to get it from the outside, it has to come from the inside. Be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess, but be filled with the spirit. To be filled with the spirit means to be controlled by the spirit. In other words, harmony is the work of the Holy Spirit. Now, this is the truth that we discover on the very first page of the Bible. In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth, and the earth was without form and void, that is empty, and darkness was upon the face of the deep, and the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. The spirit of God brings light where there's darkness. He brings fullness where there's emptiness, and he brings order where there's discord. Only the spirit of God working in and through your life can bring harmony.

Now, there's not going to be harmony in homes unless there's harmony in hearts. I enjoy music. I enjoy good music. I enjoy going to the music hall to hear the concert orchestra, the symphony. But you know, before the symphony begins, every man is playing that which is right in his own ears, and the fiddlers are sitting there playing, they're tuning up their violins, and the drummer is pounding, and the trumpets are blowing, and each man is finding himself. But when the conductor stands on the podium and he lifts his baton, and he gives the signal, he gives the downbeat. There's harmony because one man is in control.

Now, when you were saved, God gave to you a brand new nature. The spirit of God within you imparted the very divine nature of God. And now you have two natures, an old nature, which you inherited from Adam, and the new nature, which has made you a child of God. And these two natures are in conflict. Galatians 5 tells us that the flesh desires against the spirit, and the spirit against the flesh, and these are contrary the one to the other. So there's a battle going on down inside.

Now, the Christian who lives for the flesh is going to have discord down inside. And if a Christian husband is living for the world and the flesh and the devil, there's going to be discord in his heart and discord in his home. And this applies to wives and children as well. The only way to have harmony in your home is to have harmony in your heart.

Now, he tells us that to be filled with the spirit means to let the spirit of God, not the flesh, control our lives. And when a person is filled with the spirit, in Ephesians 5:19, he is joyful. In Ephesians 5:20, he is thankful. And in Ephesians 5:21, he is submissive. Now, you have no problem living with a person like that. My, how wonderful to live with somebody who's joyful. When the sky gets dark, he doesn't complain. He rejoices in the Lord. Someone who's thankful, who when he comes home and sits down at the table, doesn't complain. My, to have thankful children. Children who aren't always saying, well, the neighbor boy has this, and the girl at school has that, and we don't have anything. Ah, to have children who are thankful and submissive. You know, the reason there's much discord in our homes today, and discord in our nation today, is because there is resistance against authority.

Now, you may disagree with this, but I firmly believe that much of the lawlessness in the world today stems from man's resistance of the authority of God. We will not have this man to rule over us. You know, back in the Old Testament in 1 Samuel, the Jews came to Samuel, their wonderful prophet, and they said, we want to have a king like everybody else. The other nations have a king. He sits on a throne. He wears a crown. Great pomp and great glory. We want that kind of a king. And Samuel said, God is your king. And they said, we know, but we want a king here on earth. And Samuel went and cried out to the Lord, and God said to Samuel, they have not rejected you. They have rejected me. Back in the Old Testament, the Jews rejected God the Father for Saul. Saul was the first king, and he was a dismal failure. A liar, a proud, deceitful man, a disobedient man, an arrogant man, a failure. The people would rather have Saul than have God the Father.

Jesus Christ came down to earth. They had him arrested, and Pilate stood before them and said, behold your king. And they said, we have no king but Caesar. Don't give us Jesus Christ. Give us Caesar. He said, well, choose between Jesus and Barabbas. Now, Barabbas was a murderer. Barabbas was a lawbreaker. And they said, we want Barabbas. Ever since then, the world has been choosing not Jesus, the law maker, but Barabbas, the lawbreaker. Not Jesus who gives life, but Barabbas, the murderer who takes life.

And the reason we have the lawlessness that we have in our nation, on our streets, in our homes, is because men are repeatedly saying, we will not have this man to reign over us. Now, Paul is saying, unless the spirit of God reigns in your heart, you're not going to have harmony in your home. It's wonderful to have a harmonious home, where you hear the laughter of children, where people share in the chores and in the responsibilities, where people are joyful and thankful and submissive.

Now, he takes up this matter of submitting yourselves one to another in Ephesians 5:22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of the body. Now, this is the principle of headship, not dictatorship. Please don't read into these verses that the husband is the dictator, the king on the throne who rules with an iron hand, and no one dares to make a suggestion. Oh, no. He's talking here about the relationship between Christ and his church. It's a wonderful relationship.

And Paul is simply saying that every home ought to duplicate this relationship. That just as Jesus Christ is the head of the church, and the head does the thinking, and the head does the directing, and the head supplies that which is needed. So the husband is the head in the home. This is the principle of headship, not dictatorship. Now, he tells the wife, you submit yourself to your husband as you do to Christ.

Now, this is important. A woman who is not submissive to Jesus Christ will never submit herself to her husband. Over in 1 Peter 3, the Apostle Peter, who by the way was a married man, you'll remember, has this to say about wives and husbands. 1 Peter 3:1. Likewise, ye wives, be in subjections to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, if you happen to be married to an unsaved husband, they also may without the word, apart from preaching, be won, be won to Jesus Christ by the behavior of the wives. Many times women call and they, they say, oh, pastor, pray for my husband. He's lost. Oh, I want to win him to Christ. Here's the first step. Get off by yourself, close the door, submit yourself to Jesus Christ. You say, Lord Jesus, you can be the Lord of my life, the Lord of my lips, the Lord of my love. You control my life. I'm going to submit myself to you, and I'm going to submit myself to my husband. Now, you say, isn't it rather dangerous for a woman to submit herself to an unsaved husband? Not if she first submits herself to Christ. The book of Proverbs says, when a man's ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him. You don't have to be afraid of anything if you are bowed down before Jesus Christ.

Therefore, says Ephesians 5:24, as the church is subject unto Christ, and it is, the local church must bow down to the authority of Jesus Christ. So let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. You say, oh, that sounds awfully dangerous. But Paul doesn't stop here. You see, the wife shows her submission to her husband by loving and obeying him, and the husband shows his submission to Jesus Christ by the way he treats his wife. Ephesians 5:25, husbands. You see, it takes two to make a happy home. It takes a wife submitted to the Lord, and therefore to her husband, and it takes a husband submitted to the Lord, and therefore loving his wife. Husbands, love your wives. Can you imagine the Holy Spirit of God having to say to Christian people, love your wife? Why, if two people are married, you trust they love each other, and you trust that their love is deepening.

The trouble today is that people don't know the difference between love, romance, and lust. Much of what people think today is love is not love at all. It's just romance. They're in love with love. The dating and the enjoyment of being out. In some places and with some people, it gets to be worse than that. It's not love, it's lust. It's people acting like animals.

Now, Paul tells us here what this love really is. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. I am to love my wife the way Jesus Christ loved the church. That's a pretty tall order. You see, his love was a sacrificial love. He so loved the church that he died for the church. So, a woman's love is measured by submission. A man's love is measured by sacrifice.

Now, you take the opposite of submission, and you have rebellion. You take the opposite of sacrifice, and you have selfishness. And when you have selfishness and rebellion in a home, you can never have harmony. But you know, you show me a husband who is submissive to Christ. You show me a wife who is submissive to Christ. And I'll show you a husband and wife who are submissive to each other and who sacrifice for each other.

Who makes the sacrifices in your home? I know some homes where the children make the sacrifices. Mothers and fathers are so selfish, they have to have their entertainment, they have to have their, their gaudy toys, they have to keep up with the Joneses. You know who pays the bill? The children. They aren't clothed properly, they aren't fed properly, they don't get the enjoyment they ought to get out of life. They are neglected, they're turned over to babysitters. The children pay the bill. Mothers and fathers have no time for their children. Too important to run to the lodge, too important to run to the club, got to be with the fellas. In fact, some churches keep their members so busy, the members have no time for their families. This is a sin. The children pay the bill. The children do the sacrifice. The children do the submitting. And then they wonder. The parents wonder when the children grow up why they leave home and don't want to come back.

In some homes, the wife does the sacrificing. Oh, God bless patient, unselfish wives, whose tears are shed in secret, who mingle their prayers with their tears, who pay the price to keep some peace in the home. I wonder what the Lord Jesus Christ is going to say to some of these husbands who don't love their wives and who don't love their children and who don't know the meaning of sacrifice. I fear he's going to have something to say to them, and they won't have anything to say back.

So the wife is to submit herself to her husband as unto the Lord. And the husband is to love his wife as the Lord loves the church. And it's to be a sacrificial love. Now, he talks in Ephesians 5:26 and 27 about the love of Christ for his church. That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. This isn't baptism. Nobody ever was cleansed by the waters of baptism. This is the washing of water by the word. The word of God is compared to water.

Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way by taking heed thereto according to thy word. The word of God cleanses us. You'll remember back in the Old Testament tabernacle, there was a laver, a great big basin into which water was poured, and the priests would have to wash their hands and their feet regularly to keep clean as they served in the temple, in the tabernacle. Now, this is a picture of the word of God. The word of God cleanses us. How does Jesus Christ cleanse his church by the word?

Now, the church is not perfect. He admits this in Ephesians 5:27. That he might present it to himself a glorious church. Not today, it's not a glorious church. The church today doesn't have much glory. We ought to have more. There ought to be more dedication and more sacrifice and more practical Christian living. God ought to be glorified in the church. But Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:27 that one day Jesus Christ will present the church to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle. Now, spots come from the outside. James says, keep yourself unspotted from the world. Spots come from the outside, dirt. Wrinkles come from the inside, decay.

Now, as people get old and sickly, they get wrinkled. Now, these are two problems the church has to face. We can get old and decayed on the inside, lose our spiritual vitality, and get wrinkled. Some churches are so old and worn out. I don't mean the buildings, I mean the people. There's no spiritual life, there's no spiritual vitality. Senior citizens. The church always ought to be fresh and young. The church is not compared in the Bible to an old woman about ready to die, compared to a beautiful bride, freshness and vitality.

And some churches have spots all over them, and you get too many spots and you're dirty all over. Now, the Lord Jesus Christ keeps vitality in his church through his word, and he keeps his church clean through his word. And if more preachers would preach the word instead of politics, churches would be stronger and cleaner. If more church members would spend time with the word of God, the church would be stronger and healthier and cleaner. Ah, but one day Jesus Christ will present his church to himself in glory. And then the devil won't be able to accuse, and sinners won't be able to criticize, and nobody will say, oh, yeah, we know about that church.

Over in Jude 24, the word of God says, unto him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy. That's going to be the great marriage of the lamb. You see, today we are engaged to Jesus Christ. We've been married to him, but the wedding feast hasn't taken place yet. He's the bridegroom, we're the bride. Now, one day it's going to be husband and wife. When Jesus Christ comes back to take his bride home, and he presents his bride before his father in those glorious robes of righteousness. What a wonderful day it will be. Where will you be?

Now, Paul gets back to the practical lesson. He says, so ought men, Ephesians 5:28, to love their wives as their own bodies. You know, if every husband would be as careful and loving toward his wife as he is toward himself, what a wonderful world this would be. Is there discord in your home? It may be because somebody's not submitted to Christ. Husbands and wives need to pray together, to read the word together. It may be because someone is selfish. A husband's love toward his wife is to be a sacrificial love.

For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourish it and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. Have you noticed in this passage, it's as the Lord, as the Lord. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. Husbands, love your wives even as Christ. You see, he's the pattern, he's the example. Not Hollywood. Not this crowd that marries for better or for worse, but not for long. Not the crowd you read about in the magazines. No, no. Jesus is the example. You want to be a good wife? Christ is the example. Do you want to be a good husband? Christ is the example.

For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This raises always the problem of people interfering in a home. The leaving and the cleaving are two important parts of marriage. You leave and you cleave. And when former members of the family interfere with a new home, they do it in damage. Be careful.

Now, the Holy Spirit of God enables us to be submissive. The Holy Spirit of God enables us to have love one to another. When a husband and a wife are filled with the spirit of God, they spend time in prayer and with the word of God. There's harmony in the home. This is a great mystery, says Paul. I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence, honor her husband.

Now, this is a very, very practical kind of a lesson. Paul is simply saying, if a man is filled with the Holy Spirit, it'll show up in his home. You'll know it. You'll know he's filled with the spirit. He'll be thankful and joyful and submissive. And don't you come around and tell me how many miracles the Holy Spirit has caused you to perform, or how many times you've spoken in tongues or something like this, if there's discord in your home. Paul is saying here that the fullness of the spirit of God is evidenced in everyday Christian living in the home. Wives submitted to their husbands in love. Husbands loving their wives and sacrificing for their families.

Is this the kind of a home that, that I have and that you have? It's the kind of a home that we can have if we'll let the Holy Spirit of God really take over in our lives. I wonder if perhaps it isn't time in your home to get the children together and say, we've been neglecting the Lord. We've been neglecting prayer. We've been neglecting the Bible. Confess our sins one to another and to the Lord, and then ask him to help us to have harmony through the power of the Holy Spirit. Father, give us homes that are harmonious and holy and happy. May Jesus Christ reign supreme in our homes by the power of the Holy Spirit. In Christ's name we pray. Amen.