Ephesians - Holy Living - Part 3 - Ephesians 4:30-32

Because of what the Holy Spirit has done for us, we ought to be attentive to making him happy within, pleasing the Lord not only who reigns above us, but pleasing the Lord the Holy Spirit who lives within us. 

And now before we open the word to Ephesians 4, we pause to pray. Father once again we come to hear your voice, do speak to our hearts. May we not be man-taught, may we be spirit-taught today. May the Holy Spirit of God say far more to us than the teacher says. May our hearts be open to your Spirit's instruction and illumination, I ask in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you. 

Now these verses are the climax of Paul's exhortation in Ephesians 4:17-32, not to walk the way we used to walk. Remember now in Ephesians 4, he is emphasizing the walk of the believer. We're to walk in unity, Ephesians 4:1-16. Then we're to walk in purity, Ephesians 4:17-5:17. Now in this big section, from Ephesians 4:17-5:17, he describes four different walks: the new walk, Ephesians 4:17-32—don't walk the way you used to walk, don't walk the way the rest of the unsaved walk. And then he's going to talk about walking in love in Ephesians 5:1-2, walking as children of light, Ephesians 5:3-14, and then walking in wisdom, Ephesians 5:15-17. We all need these admonitions. 

Walk now in purity, not as you used to walk when you were an unsaved person. Ephesians 4:31 names the sins that create problems in our lives, in our homes, in our churches. He tells us we're to put these things away. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice. That's the negative. And the positive, of course, is be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you. And this is preceded by the admonition that when we do these things, we are grieving the Holy Spirit of God. Bitterness—the word actually comes from a Greek word that means sharp, pointed, the barbs of our words and our attitudes. Bitterness—we nurse grievances and grudges. Wrath—the outbursts of anger. Anger—that settled rage down inside. Now he's already told us in Ephesians 4:26, there is a godly anger: be angry, but do not sin. But sinful anger usually is what we practice. Bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor—that means brawling, arguing. It also includes the idea of complaining. Actually, the Greek word is related to the noise animals make: the braying of a mule or the barking of a dog. Bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, evil speaking—it's the word blasphemy.

There are two aspects to this evil speaking: blaspheming God, that is taking His name in vain, and slandering men. What slander is on the human level, blasphemy is. And what blasphemy is between us and God, slander is between us and other people. It's serious thing to slander other people and to blaspheme God. Evil speaking with all malice. Malice is that desire to see other people get hurt. You see envy bothers me when my enemy receives something good. Envy says I hate it when he has something good happen. Malice says I'm glad that something bad has happened to him. Oh, you say, how can Christians who are indwelt by the Holy Spirit of God practice things like this? Well, they should not practice them. But they sometimes have to confess—we sometimes have to confess—that we occasionally slip into these things.

Oh, how easy it is to wish evil on someone who has done evil to you. How easy it is to harbor down inside a settled rage of anger. And this starts to poison our whole life, which raises the important question: how can you and I overcome these poisonous sins? These are sins that belong to the old life, back when we were alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that was in us, because of the hardening of our hearts, when we'd given ourselves over to all kinds of sins. That's the past life.

Now why would these things still bother us today? Well, because we have a nature that has not yet been totally redeemed. We have a new nature within from the Lord, but we're not going to be totally redeemed until we see the Lord Jesus. We have an enemy—neither give place to the devil, says Ephesians 4:27. And of course we have the old problem with the flesh and the world. Yes, the world, the flesh, and the devil want to encourage us to harbor bitterness and to show wrath, to fly off the handle as they say, to just show other people that we really can stand up for our rights.

Well, Paul gives to us three very practical instructions to help us overcome these sins. Paul says when you are tempted to do the things that are forbidden in Ephesians 4:31, first of all, look within, Ephesians 4:30. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, whereby you were sealed for the day of redemption. Look within. When you're tempted to lose your temper, when you know you're harboring bitterness and anger down inside, when you are guilty of slandering other people, just look within and realize the Holy Spirit of God is living there. 

Now if I were to move into your home as a guest or a resident, I think you would do everything you could to make me feel comfortable. The Holy Spirit of God has moved into our bodies. The Lord Jesus was here on earth some thirty-three years and then He went back to heaven. The Holy Spirit has been here on earth ever since and He lives within every believer. Now the Holy Spirit is a person. If you don't have the Holy Spirit within you, you are not a Christian. Romans 8:9: if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he's none of his. We prove that we're Christians because the Spirit of God witnesses with our spirit that we indeed are the children of God.

Now the Holy Spirit is a person. He has emotions. He can be grieved. He has a mind. 1 Corinthians 2 talks about the mind of the Holy Spirit, verse 11. For what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God. These things we also speak, not in words which man's wisdom teaches, but which the Holy Spirit teaches, comparing spiritual things with spiritual. The Holy Spirit has a mind. He can use words. He teaches. He guides into truth. The Holy Spirit has a will. 1 Corinthians 12:11 talking about the gifts of the Spirit: But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually as he wills.

So the Holy Spirit is a personality, a person. He has intellect, emotion, and will. Jesus called the Holy Spirit He. The Holy Spirit is equal to God because He is God. Now we can sin against the Holy Spirit. Acts 5:3 talks about lying to the Holy Spirit, Ananias and Sapphira. Wanted to make everybody think they were more spiritual than they really were and so they lied to the Holy Spirit. You can quench the Holy Spirit, 1 Thessalonians 5:19. The Holy Spirit is stirring you to do something and you keep putting out the fire. You can quench the Spirit, and you can grieve the Holy Spirit. I think we must have a loving relationship to the Holy Spirit. We must appreciate the indwelling Spirit of God. He gave us life. He glorifies Jesus through us. John 16:14, our Lord said, He shall glorify me. And because of what the Holy Spirit has done for us, we ought to be attentive to making him happy within, pleasing the Lord not only who reigns above us, but pleasing the Lord the Holy Spirit who lives within us.

You'll notice in Ephesians 1, 2, and 3 that there are five ministries of the Holy Spirit listed. The Holy Spirit seals us, Ephesians 1:13-14. He gives us access to God, Ephesians 2:18. He is building a habitation of God, the church, Ephesians 2:22. He is the Spirit of revelation, Ephesians 1:17, Ephesians 3:5. And He gives us strength, Ephesians 3:16. Now we in return ought to relate to the Holy Spirit positively. He has sealed us to the day of redemption; we shouldn't grieve Him. He has given us access to the Father; we should pray in the Spirit, Ephesians 6:18. He is making the church a habitation of God; we should maintain the unity of the Spirit, Ephesians 4:1. He is the Spirit of revelation who teaches us the Word; we should use the sword of the Spirit, Ephesians 6:17. And He gives us the strength that we need in the inner man, Ephesians 3:16; therefore, we should be filled with the Spirit, Ephesians 5:18. For every ministry of the Holy Spirit that He has done for us, we have a matching responsibility. Don't ignore, neglect, grieve the Holy Spirit within.

So his first instruction is when you're tempted to commit these sins, look within and ask, how does this affect the Holy Spirit? Secondly, look ahead. Notice the Holy Spirit has sealed us for the day of redemption. Something is going to happen in the future. Now he's talking about my relationship to the Son of God who one day is going to come. We are sealed to the day of redemption. We have not yet experienced the redemption of the body. Romans 8:23 tells us that we are waiting eagerly with all of creation for the redemption of our body.

Now the soul has been redeemed, the spirit has been redeemed, we belong to God, but one day we shall see the Lord Jesus Christ and then we shall be like him, 1 John 3:2. This gives to us a responsibility. I don't know what you think about when you think about the coming of the Lord Jesus. Sometimes we say, oh Lord Jesus, please come back, my body hurts so much and I just want to go to heaven. Or there are so many problems and troubles in this world, oh Lord, just take us to heaven. Well, I guess we can pray like that, we don't want to get selfish, of course. But Paul tells us in Ephesians, we are sealed to the day of redemption by the Holy Spirit of God and knowing that we are sealed—we belong to God, He owns us, He protects us, we have His mark in our lives—knowing this ought to encourage us to live godly lives.

Now this is just the opposite of the theology, or so-called theology, some people preach. Some people preach: now you must be good so you will become a child of God. He says you already are a child of God, therefore live up to it. Some people say, oh you'd better be good so you can go to heaven. Paul says you are going to heaven, you've been sealed. Security and assurance are motives for holy living. Because I know I belong to God, because I know I'm going to heaven, therefore I should want to live a holy life. You cannot build sanctity on insecurity. You've got to build on the rock, not on the sand. And everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself just as he is pure. Knowing that we are going to heaven is a motivation for holy, godly living. So we should look within. How does this conduct affect the Holy Spirit? We should look ahead. How will this affect me when I face the Lord Jesus Christ? Some people are going to be ashamed at His coming, ashamed before him, 1 John 2:28.

There is a third instruction. He's talked about the Holy Spirit, he's talked about the Son, now he's going to talk about the Father. Throughout Ephesians there is a Trinitarian emphasis. He tells us in Ephesians 4:32 that we should look up with appreciation. Look within—that's your association with the Holy Spirit. Look ahead—that's your anticipation of seeing the Lord Jesus. Look up—that is the appreciation we have for what the Father has done. What has the Father done? He's been kind to us. He has forgiven us. And be kind to one another. Now that takes care of all the sins in Ephesians 4:31. When you are kind to people, you are not going to be bitter and carry grudges. When you're kind, you don't show anger and explosive wrath. You are not involved in quarreling and slander. You certainly would not want to carry malice within. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you. Christian love means I treat others the way God has treated me. We should look up with appreciation and thank God for what He has done. He was kind toward us. Your Father is kind. In fact, He tells us to be kind because He is kind.

Jesus has this to say in the Gospel of Luke 6 beginning at verse 35: But love your enemies, do good and lend, hoping for nothing in return and your reward will be great and you will be the sons of the Highest for He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Therefore be merciful just as your Father also is merciful. If we are the children of God, we should act like God. We have His nature, we wear His name, we're going to live in His home. Our Lord Jesus told that story about the unforgiven servant. The king forgave him millions of dollars, he could not forgive his friend a few dollars of debt, put the man in prison. Well, we put ourselves in prison with an unforgiving spirit.

How do we show our appreciation for what God the Father has done for us? By being kind to one another. Love is kind, 1 Corinthians 13:4. God is kind, Luke 6:35. Tenderhearted—that's just the opposite of what we read earlier in this chapter, Ephesians 4:18-19. Their understanding darkened, the hardness of their hearts, past feeling. Tenderhearted—oh thank God for His tenderness toward us and forgiving. That means not carrying malice, not carrying grudges. That word tenderhearted has the meaning of all of your viscera down inside moved. It's what Paul called bowels of mercies in Philippians 2:1. We don't use that phrase today, but that's the phrase he used. It means all of our inner person is just moved with pity and mercy toward others. How easy it is to be like the crowd, how easy it is to give way to our old nature, oh how easy it is to do what other people do and show malice and evil speaking and arguing and wrath and anger and carrying bitterness. But Paul says look within: how does this affect the Holy Spirit? Look ahead: what will it mean when you see the Lord Jesus? And look up: what does it mean to your Father in heaven who has done so much for us? And if He has done this for us, can we not share the same blessing with others?

[Interview] Up next, Warren joins Arnie Cole, CEO of Back to the Bible International.

Warren, in your commentary on Ephesians titled Be Rich, you ask the question, are you wearing the graveclothes or the graceclothes? Could you explain the difference?

Well, you remember when Lazarus came forth from the tomb, he was bound hand and foot. And the first thing Jesus says is, loose him, let him go. Who wants to live with a living man who's dressed like a corpse, smells like a corpse, and acts like a corpse? So, in the Christian life we have to change clothes. Paul often compares Christian character to clothing. So we have to take off the old clothes, those graveclothes, and put on the graceclothes. Paul says now laying aside all these old garments, put on, and he goes right down the line. I like that. Every day we have to take off our clothes so we can go to bed, and we have to put on our clothes in the morning so we can go out in public. And every time I do that I should say, have I done this on the inside? Have I taken off criticism? Have I taken off bitterness? Have I put on love? Is my spiritual wardrobe hanging in the closet or is it on my back? And that's what he means by that. You've been in the grave. The record is that Jesus raised three people from the dead. I'm sure He raised many more than that, but He raised three people from the dead: a little girl twelve years old, a young man probably in his teens or his early twenties, and then Lazarus, an older man. All of which says to us, sinners of every age are dead. And then the young man sat up and talked. Well, when you're raised from the dead you talk about it, you tell people about Jesus. And then this dear Lazarus, there's not one word of his conversation anywhere in the New Testament. But you know what it says in the Gospel of John? The people came to his house just to see him. I went to his funeral, there he sits. Can people look at us and believe in Jesus? So that's what he's talking about here. Get rid of the graveclothes, put on the graceclothes.